oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize