Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize