i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
