My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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