Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
