omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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