Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
