yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
