the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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