even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
