I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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