4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
