I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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