i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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