what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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