He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
