I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
