Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
