Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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