So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
