i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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