Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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