we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
