Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
