Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
