Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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