I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
