I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
