I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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