And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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