One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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