I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
did you just send me my own nude
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
