This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
