paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im holly from the hills drunk
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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