help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
