yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
