I bet he comes in French.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
