I understand Curling. That high.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
