his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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