i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My penis needs a shock collar
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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