It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
