Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
