im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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