you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
