: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
