yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Randomize
