hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
