therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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