I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
