I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
third nipple confirmed
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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