I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
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I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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