The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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