Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
