That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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