you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize