The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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