i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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