I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
